Six months ago, I sat in an airport, wondering what the next few hours would look like, let alone the next six months. I sat and contemplated. I breathed out Toronto, ready to breathe in Barcelona. I steadied myself and readied myself for the next phase of my life: a adventure never to be forgotten: the biggest leap.

I wasn't scared or anxious. I wasn't nervous or reserved. I was ready. I had thought a lot about that moment, of sitting in the airport alone, ready to take off. I noticed the people in my terminal and noted their attitudes. Some of them were excited, some were nervous, some tired and some just ready to be gone. Men looked around at me, likely wondering why I was sitting by myself. And women sized me as they usually do in North America. I hadn't thought much about what would come after getting on the plane, so when finally, it was time to board, I got up, collected my carry on and calmly walked onto the plane. As my post states, I had the works on my flight, and it was the perfect way to start this adventure: champagne.

I can tell you that when I left Toronto, when the plane took off, I exhaled. I didn't cry or get emotional, I just exhaled. I looked at my city one last time, knowing it would be quite some time before I saw that place again, and wondering what might change by the time I get back. (Let's hope the Donald Trump Building is finished.. its been years already!) Bubbles of joy started bursting inside of me, and the newly-wed couple next to me seemed somewhat confused at my happiness of adventuring alone into an unknown place.

When we landed in Barcelona, I had to catch my breath. The pain of descent was nothing in comparison to the joy I felt at beginning this phase of life. Leaping and landing are two very different things, and I had landed in Barcelona.

It's hard to express exactly what I've been through in the last six months. Every emotion has been felt, and when it is, it is heightened. In Toronto, I felt clouded like the smoggy skies in summer. But here, everything is much more clear and my senses are acutely picking up on everything.

Six months has seemed like forever, as much as it has seemed like only a few weeks. It feels as if I met my friends from school just last month and they only left a few days ago. It feels like the summer heat has been gone forever, but my vivid memory of wearing shorts late into October is returning with the warmth of the sun.  I know its been cold and it has rained, and months have gone by since school ended, but I can clearly remember so many nights of walking around downtown that it doesn't seem right that my Aussi has been gone for months, and that my boys are gone to Thailand. Houston is like a distant memory that I wish would return to grace us with her bright laughter. It seem that I've apparently broken a heart already since being here which seems like... well, something I would do, but shocking in the short amount of time it took (its not as dramatic as it sounds, but I feel he thinks it is).

September seems like last week, at the same time as feeling like it was ages ago!

I cannot even begin to express how much I have learned and grown and have strengthened my own person since being here. Coming to a foreign country, knowing no one, and only having a basic grasp of the language, I walked around the streets of this unfamiliar city wide-eyed. I knew I wanted to be here, and I knew I would eventually get to know this place, but how long I would stay, that has been an unanswered question in my mind since before I left. I came here without a return ticket, and no thought of turning back. I would take this city by storm! I would succeed in Barcelona. Succeed at what? That is a question that is still being formed, let alone answered.

I know what I have accomplished since being here. I have completed a TEFL certificate and subsequent Teaching Young Learners and Teaching Business Professionals certificates, begun to learn a language in its entirety, kept myself safe and healthy, navigated my way around to the point of knowing the metro system and streets enough to get to certain areas of town with little thought as to how, gained friends I will have forever, stretched myself to every limit possible, let myself fall and let myself feel broken again. Barcelona for me is about putting things in the right place, for me.

Six months seems the perfect time to have life-altering questions, life-changing decisions, and mind-blowing realizations. I had one of those last weekend, and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Only myself and the entity which provided the realization can ever really know how much that one moment has changed me. Life is clearer still. You may be wondering what the realization was, and so I will tell you in the simplest form: "they are not the same age as you". For years I have been telling people that "age doesn't matter, life experience does". And while you may think that that's a load of ****, I believe it whole-heartily. I believe that as you age, and as you add the number of days that you have literally woken up, gotten out of bed and survived yet another day, your life experience increases. What is important to a fifteen year old is not always important to a twenty-one year old, and what is important to a twenty-one year old is likely not important to a thirty year old and so on. While I am keen to admit that I am 24 in groups of people I do not know very well, I cannot help but admit eventually that I am older than that. This is not because I LOOK like I am aging, quite the opposite. It is because I find that people assume that I have less life experience because I am "24". I cannot fault them in this, I do the same. I met a man a while back, and simply because of his young face and the fact that almost every other male I had met through my TEFL school seemed to be "22!!" I assumed he was of the same age range. It wasn't until someone asked him how old he is and he responded "I'm 29" that I paid any attention to him. It was in that moment that I said to myself "this is a person I should talk to." It so happens that that afternoon, he and I went for a drink and have been close ever since. It is so nice to talk to a person who understands what it is like to leave an actual career to go and do something else, instead of people who are fresh out of school looking for a new adventure before settling down. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the rest of us need our own kind of support and alliance in these situations.

So my realization that these people are "not the same age" as me has little to do with the number of years old they are, but rather it was a reminder that they have had significantly less days, weeks and months of getting up and facing the day. Less days to wonder if it will rain, or if it will shine. Less days to wonder if they'll be fired from their job, or if their sibling will have a baby that day and change your roles from simply "sister" and "daughter" and add "aunt" which caries with it responsibilities all of their own. Less days get their hearts broken or to fall in love. By their age, I was falling for a man who has since broken my heart twice and introduced me to someone else who has forever changed me (for the better, I am stronger because of it). I have moved out of "home", had a career, volunteered, been on more bad dates than I care to remember and experienced the business world. All of these things have shaped who I am, and I believe it takes time to acquire these experiences, and they simply haven't had the time yet. I can't fault them in that. There is no point in being angry because someone doesn't understand you. Simply explain (if you have the heart to do so) and carry on.

These six months have added so much to my wakings up and goings about the day. It is a strange feeling to wake up for the first time in a place and realize that you're not on vacation; you're not "going home soon". I've been walking around, having tiny moments of "I live here. I live HERE." I know my way around, I have a gym, and friends and things that I do on a daily and weekly basis. I've made friends with the guy in the copy place down the street, simply because I see him on a somewhat daily basis. I don't have a coffee shop that I frequent yet, but I have a feeling the one that just opened up down the street is going to quickly become that place.

It is a good feeling to know that I have been here for six months. :)

Okay, enough babbling.. I'm going to celebrate the day and have ice cream on the beach!

Bon Dia mis amigos! Hasta luego!