Missing People

Have you ever been somewhere random, like in another town or country, or on vacation somewhere and seen someone you know? Or thought you saw someone you know? Or saw someone that for a split second looked like someone from back home?

I’ve been seeing people from the minute I stepped off the plane that look like people from back home. It’s getting a little irritating. For that split second that you’re standing there, on the street or in the market, you see that person our of the corner of your eye and you think “Oh my God, it’s …” And then the second is over and you realize that the person is too tall to be so-and-so or too plump to be him or the hair is too big to be her (she would never let it get out of control like that).

These tiny moments throughout your days, weeks, and months start to build up when you’re away. I’ve been seeing people for months now, like I said, and it’s that tiny hope of home; someone you recognize; someone who knew you before you were here, that starts to eat at you. At first its just tiny bits of disappointment and you think: “Of course that’s not her, she wouldn’t be in Spain, and if she were, she would have called me!” or “He would never been in a dirt-bag bar like this, he’s way too classy for that” (that one is for Joe at CB, I swore I thought I saw you in a bar off La Rambla!)

It is never the overly familiar people that you think you see, it is always someone slightly removed or someone that is an acquaintance; someone you met at a dinner party, or worked with years ago but haven’t stayed in contact with. I think that almost makes it worse. Its not the people you hope to see. It’s never Jenn or Carrie or Eric or Kyle. It’s not your Aunt Chris or your cousin Ashley. It’s someone you could give or take. Not that you don’t care to see anyone, just that you would care more to see certain people over others. It’s never, never close family. Maybe a distant relative, like a great uncle John or great Aunt Erma (yes, I have a great Aunt Erma- and I wish she’d learn to race the food at Christmas).

These moments build up day by day and make you continuously realize that you’re not home. You’re not going to run into Debbie and Patricia from work, or watch a game with Chris and the guys. You’re not going to see Marcel walking through your other friend’s neighbourhood one day and run out of Shopper’s to stop him on the street and give him a big hug! You won’t drive over to your sister’s house and play with her kids and make cookies. Mom isn’t standing out on the back porch petting the cat, and dad isn’t coming home from work to BBQ some delicious steak for you.

These are the thoughts that have started to eat little happy moments of walking along the street and seeing someone you think you recognize. They start to nudge you into missing people you were hoping not to start missing because you have access to them through the wonderful thing called the Internet. (What did people used to do before email, skype, facebook, twitter, photobucket, BBM, Whatsapp etc etc etc?).

The reason I am thinking this way today is because I have been unable to skype with my family for over a week. It’s been a week and 3 days since I’ve talked to any member of my immediate family using my voice, and it's making me miss them even more. I am looking forward to getting internet connection soon and making up for lost time by chatting away with them. Tonight however, I will have to keep it short. I hope Mackenzie made cookies she can show me!